Can Japan’s friendship marriages be a hit in India too?

“Pyaar dosti hai (love is friendship).” That’s what Shah Rukh Khan’s Rahul famously said in ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’, making us believe that friendship is the foundation of a romantic relationship. Japan, meanwhile, has taken it a step further… turning friendships directly into marriages – without love being involved.
Friendship marriages are emerging as a popular trend in Japan’s dating landscape, a country already struggling with a continuous decline in the population.
In 2023, Japan’s total population decreased for the 15th consecutive year, dropping by more than half a million people as the population ages and birth rates remain low. The rate of marriage remains low too. The number of marriages dropped below 5,00,000 in 2023, happening for the first time since the 1930s.

Experts say friendship is a great foundation for marriage, but lack of romance and sex could become a problem. (Photo: Dharma Productions/Kuch Kuch Hota Hai)

Amid this, friendship marriages have entered the scene – an arrangement that does not involve sex or romance. It is like marrying a roommate. The partners become legal spouses but are free to chase other relationships and may choose not to have children. If they do decide to have children, processes like artificial insemination and IVF might be involved.
“Friendship marriages are not about marrying your best friend or being driven by romantic love; instead, they focus on sharing life with a partner who has similar values and interests. The aim is companionship, where two people can enjoy spending time together, share responsibilities like household chores and finances, and support each other’s growth, both personally and professionally,” explains Dr Nisha Khanna, a Delhi-based psychologist and marriage counsellor.
According to Colorus, an agency that specialises in friendship marriages, such couples extensively discuss living arrangements, finances, household chores and even allocation of fridge space before embarking on this unconventional matrimonial journey. Since 2015, the agency reports that they have facilitated nearly 500 marriages, with some of these couples even going on to raise children.
An average ‘friendship marriage’ participant is 32.5 years old, well-educated and financially sound.
Friendship marriages are particularly appealing to asexual individuals and homosexuals. Same-sex marriages are not yet legal in Japan, and asexual individuals who crave companionship can also benefit from such arrangements.
Moreover, Japan provides tax as well as health insurance benefits to married couples. Married couples in Japan can benefit from the spousal tax deduction, which effectively reduces the taxable income of the higher-earning spouse if the lower-earning spouse earns below a specified threshold.
The concept of friendship marriage also helps couples deal with societal pressure.

‘Friendship marriages’ are platonic. (Photo: Getty Images)

Several reports have suggested that many young Japanese are reluctant to marry or have families because of the high cost of living in big cities and a demanding work culture. Friendship marriages can offer financial partnership and companionship whilst keeping loneliness and isolation at bay. FYI, 37,227 people living alone died in their homes in Japan in the first half of 2024.
Even though relationship experts agree that friendship is a solid foundation for marriage, they add that the absence of love and physical intimacy might become a problem eventually.
“Marrying a friend can offer several benefits. The pre-existing emotional foundation, shared values and a deeper understanding of each other’s personalities (and acceptance of it) can create a more stable, peaceful, and sustainable relationship. With clear communication, respect and trust, it can make the relationship even stronger,” says Delhi-based relationship expert Ruchi Ruuh.
“However, as the romantic and sexual angle is mostly missing, it could create problems if one partner starts desiring something outside this bond. Even with acceptance and clear communication, it can lead to complexities or even strain. These are a few of the aspects both partners must talk about and agree upon before entering a long-term committed relationship,” she adds.

There is a set of pros as well as cons to friendship marriages (Photo: Getty Images)

Dr Nisha Khanna, meanwhile, adds that emotional and mental complexities may arise when one person desires a physical relationship, and the other does not. This imbalance can further lead to difficulties, such as the partner seeking fulfilment outside of marriage, introducing the risk of STIs.
“The future of such relationships, especially when children are involved, remains uncertain. Complex family dynamics can create challenges for children’s identity and understanding of their family structure,” Khanna adds.
However, there are a lot of benefits too, like emotional support, shared finances and chores—without compromising personal needs and freedom.
Experts say that while India remains deeply rooted in family values and the institution of traditional marriage is likely to endure, the trend of friendship marriages could still gain traction and emerge as a practical solution for many.
“In India, a lot of people now don’t want kids. The friendship marriage concept can help such people,” says Dr Khanna.
“Though we did not have a name for this arrangement, such marriages have already been present in India – especially among LGBTQ individuals, who marry for the sake of society and parental pressure. Those who are asexual or don’t want to be open about their homosexuality in society can get emotional support and companionship from friendship marriages,” says Dr Khanna.
However, it is important to be compatible in terms of emotional and physical needs.
“Friendship marriages can be a viable alternative to traditional relationships when both partners prioritise emotional connection and companionship. But they can be more challenging if either partner has higher physical needs,” adds Dr Khanna.
If this aspect is sorted, experts say a friendship marriage can be a “beautiful thing”.
“Friendship-based marriages can provide valuable emotional support. This is particularly important for those who feel like social outcasts, such as members of the LGBTQ+ community. When partners provide mutual emotional support, it can be essentially good for their personal and professional growth,” says Dr Khanna.
The increasing focus on mental health can also lead to friendship marriages becoming a thing in India.
“As mental health awareness grows and people increasingly understand and seek alternative ways of pairing up, India could witness a gradual shift towards alternative marriage models. We have already seen a steady growth in people being more comfortable in their relationships, shedding the traditional norms. Friendship marriage is not a far-fetched idea, and many people are already marrying their friends due to emotional stability,” says Ruchi Ruuh.
In India, many couples marry with the intention of having children. However, for those who prefer not to take the parenthood route, these platonic marriages can be a good option.
“The saying ‘better the devil you know than the devil you don’t’ applies here. This is one reason why some people prefer to enter into a relationship with someone they already know and like, rather than with a stranger. Whether this choice is healthy or not depends on the personalities and dynamics of the two individuals involved,” says Dr Khanna.